Fatimas Life 2.6

Salaam alaikum,

So here we are, at the last step of the wedding drill.

Walima, is any dinner party. And the walima after the wedding is NOT from the grooms side but the groom. At least that's how it's supposed to be.

Back home, Walima are generally short and sweet. There are very few people invited, and the food is very simple. Sometimes there's no walima. And people don't mind that. It's the wish of the groom, and it's Mustahab NOT wajib. Most people here don't even know that.

One wedding, there was only ice cream served, because the groom could afford only that. It's such a humble way celebrating a new phase of life (which by the way was served in the day of the nikah itself). For some it's the reminder of the practicality of Islam, and for some it's against the societal norms. The latter ideology saddens me. Whats the point in taking loans and doing a lavish walima, for people who don't even care about you. Because in the end of the day, if your family people are indirectly pressurizing you for anything, they don't, or are just way to ignorant to be called adults.

We don't know how many grooms trying to live up to their societal status subscribe to loans. It's so unnecessary. No one in the end of the day cares about the stress you've undertaken, no one cares about how hard you've worked to earn, no one cares about other ideas and places of investment in your mind, no one cares about anything but themselves. This is the harsh truth, this is the depth of each wedding, that we surprisingly don't find out.

We don't take enough time out to think, and ponder over the issues in our society. The society we're responsible for. The families we are growing up in, the ones that are molding our thinking, shaping our souls into being who we are. We don't think about the effect of these social standards on the next generation. We are way too busy making ends meet, satisfying our worldly wants, etc. Our brain was made to not just excel academically, there is something no education system teaches us. There is no religion that stresses on thinking as much as Islam. Because it's a religion of confidence, which wants you to dream, fantasize, think, work those brains to understand the depths each law, each part of the religion. And I know with practice that; it's not something you need to set a timetable for. Seriously, trust me. Think when you're speaking to someone, assess their words, think while listening to a lecture, think when you watch TV, what is it that is being processed into your head. Why are the things around you the way they are?. And marriage is a big part of our society that deserves allot of thought, AND practical application.

Here are few questions you should have answers to:
1. What importance does marriage hold in Islam?
2. What are the wajibaat in a wedding?
3. What is the aim of every tradition, included in the procedure of wedding?
4. How is the selection of groom and bride done?
5. How is the whole lengthy procedure helpful to everyone attending Islamically?
6. In what way is marriage helpful to individuals?
7. Am I as an attendee able to go through a wedding without compromising my religious duties?
8. Am I thinking enough and giving this issue due importance?

Those are just few, ask more, and you'd grow as an intellectual human being. And always keep in mind the big picture. I just can't help stress enough on it. Our responsibilities in this world and duties towards Allah is our goal in life, and that should be the basis of our decision making. Qurbatan Illallah (for the pleasure of Allah) That's our motto!

And don't think paying attention to this issue is not applicable in your situation because you're no where near the wedding phase of life. You will regret not having thought about it after committing mistakes. Should try putting yourselves in shoes of others and constantly try thinking beyond your maturity level. It will make life and lifes Jihad easy for you. There is no excuse to avoid empathizing. Whats the point in realizing things late when they the damage is done?.

This marks the end of the wedding series. And I have a fun activity coming up in my next post. I hope you're all interested in something interactive!. So stay tuned. and keep mailing me. I love to know about what you think.

Take care

KH

Fatima