Fatimas Life 2.1

Salaam alaikum,

Yes so my life has been going hectic with all the weddings etc. And also acknowledging all the various "traditions" that have been adopted in these weddings.

I know Islam allows them, you can adopt them, but only to an extent. This is a very confusing matter too. I had a chat with a couple of my new family sisters here, and well, they in the end seemed to be confused with regard to what actually CAN be adopted.

I thought about it myself, I didn't have a polished answer. So I tried to fig out a way I could reach a conclusion.
I decided to go through the procedures of these acts and try deriving conclusions separately. This is strictly based on the kind of wedding we have in my place. (please excuse my sarcasm)

The wedding usually lasts for good 7 days.
day 1. manja. basically the point of a manja ceremony is for the families of both sides to get acquainted with each other. This takes place on different days in both houses. Which in totality would make the wedding for 8days!!
what happens?
A jashn, so that the beginning of this beautiful thing starts with the remembrance of Allah and the prophet and the ahlul bayt.
Traditionally the girl wears a yellow khada dupatta (hyderabadi traditional outfit). Which is usually half sleeved and the girls not wearing any head cover. This is only if the girl doesn't observe hijab. Actually even if she does, she's kinda forced to avoid it, since she's not going to be accounted for any sin this day! ha ha ha!.
I would take full liberty to blame such a bride though, we have to be strong in our iman and practices, religion is the only place you are allowed to rebel. REBEL GIRL REBEL!!

so whats wrong in this scene?
1. most women, are wearing saris, and are basically without hijab, and a video grapher mostly male is present. And since the jashn is read by women, the man gets to hear the voices of many ladies but also the voice of the particular one reciting.

2. Men waste their time on these occasions. they only come for the dinner, and useless talk. Not good. I don't understand how remembering the religion is not important for them before this great start! double standards!

When this manja ceremony is at the grooms place the groom is called into the ladies (mind u ladies are without hijab n most of them couldn't care less) all his brothers, also join him! and well the elder ladies have him wear a garland,feed him sweets, and one after the other the closest of the familys women come and give sadaqah off the groom (usually by holding the money in hand and moving it in circles above his head a couple of times) and kissing yes, kissing the boy on his cheek or head whatever.

this gets me to point:
3.total violation of the segregation of women and men. Getting young boys into the room where young girls are decked up!!! Wake up!!

4. kissing the groom?! just cos you're older doesn't mean rules have changed for you.

5. this makes the people lose clarity of mahram and non-mahrams. again video people present, mind you these videos are viewed by the whole family of the groom and bride after the wedding!!! not to mention the photographs.

these were only some of the thoughts, this was all followed by photography, food, etc. Where somewhere down the line men and women, especially young ones come into contact with each other more than needed.

Parents of these kids don't realize what they're doing by attending such functions. They are making their kids meet, and mingle, yet they try to stop their girls, and they expect nothing haraam to come out of it all.

Come on! grow up. This is the biggest example of not realizing the importance of responsibility and power. the power of freewill. If elders aren't going to realize it, how do they expect their kids to be of the utmost Islamic character?.

This has gotten long! with 6 days still left.. will cont. next time, stay tuned for the next episode......of saanchak!