Fatimas Life 1‏

This is a series of experiences of Fatima (Who is a fictional character) which will come via e-mail. This is just my way of bringing to notice certain issues and sharing my views and views of others. I hope I am able to achieve my aim of bringing things into perspective. So, Lets not waste time and start getting to know her shall we?


Fatimas life

Salaam alaikum sisters, I am Fatima, just got married a few months back. Like every other girl it’s a total change. I am still continuing my graduation, in a co-ed college.

I come from a very religious family; actually I wouldn’t call it religious or even give a ‘very’ adjective. I come form a MUSLIM family. The way EVERY family who’s Muslim should be. But sadly, that’s not the case is it?!

Anyway, coming back to my life, since the wedding I’ve been facing allot of new and innovative things!. One of the first highlights was the “religious boy” label I came across,

when people were looking for suitors for their daughters. And I uncovered rather weird ideologies.

It’s really funny; everyone is having their own notion of “religious boy/girl”. And today I’m going to focus on this very idea. I will now site some very interesting examples:

For one who doesn’t even pray, a person who prays even one prayer a day is “very very religious”

For the one who prays; a person who fasts in Ramadan or just fasts the Sunnah fasts but misses his Ramadan fasts is “super religious”.

Some people are labeled as ’religious’ just because they give charity or do some good deed that is outwardly, even they are not even familiar with the Islamic laws. And they are sadly the most eligible bachelors in the community!

And the saddest is that person who doesn’t do anything and is regarded as the “best possible religious person” because every year in Muharram he’s the one standing outside the masjid/center when the majlis is going on smoking cigarettes or chit chatting with his buddies posing on bikes. Just because he’s a seasonal Muslim, whose face is seen only every Muharram (not jumah, not for aamaal, nothing) just Muharram He is great!!. Hurry get him married to a pretty girl who is praying and doing hijab and fulfilling all her duties because he is religious!

I’m sure you’re all aware of this ideology. Yes you may have the love of Ahlul bayt in your heart, but what’s that love without practicing what the loved one fought and died for?

Who are we kidding?; I am sadly surrounded by people who’ve made their own rules, their own ideologies, their own classifications of right and wrong as though the only duty of Allah was to create you. They don’t understand the responsibility of freewill.

It’s so difficult, back in my home someone if was specified as “very religious” would be a learned scholar, or mujtahid, or a student or ex of the hawza in Iran or something along those lines.

In Islam when considering someone for wedding, the first thing to look for is Iman. Iman doesn’t mean seasonal Iman; it means ‘Hardcore jihadi Muslim of today’s world Iman’.

Who is doing everything that he should and more, & most importantly STRIVING for better.

It pisses me off royally to see parents getting carried away listening to things like these regarding a potential son-in-law and getting their daughters married to them. They for some reason will not look beyond their own little circle of family. When Allah mentions is the Quran:

“O mankind! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes, that you may know one another [not that on account of this you may boast of being superior to others]. Certainly, the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the most God‑fearing among you ....”(49:13)

Here, people are so scared of the bad that would come if they married into another, new family that they’d stick to their impossible and unislamic rules and dwell in the crappiness of it all.

This particular marriage issue I’ve been getting acquainted to allot because the wedding season is just round the corner. And this is in the air I breathe.

All this is just a gist of how I feel about these issues, more is coming! Allot more. This is only the beginning! ;)


Let me know if you’ve come across similar or any new ideologies regarding this matter. I would love to know what happens in other families, and countries etc.


This is Fatima signing off for the day! Take care,



KH